


Wishing

by thebasement_archivist



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Angst, Drama, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-04-06
Updated: 2004-04-06
Packaged: 2018-11-20 14:58:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11337825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebasement_archivist/pseuds/thebasement_archivist
Summary: Krycek does some wishing. He's not as alone as he thought.





	Wishing

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Basement](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Basement), which moved to the AO3 to ensure the stories are always available and so that authors may have complete control of their own works. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Basement's collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/thebasement/profile).

Wishing

### Wishing

#### by SpookyStarbuck

  


Title: Wishing 

Author: Spookystarbuck 

Summary: Krycek does some wishing. He's not as alone as he thought. 

Category: Angst, Drama 

Pairing: Mulder/Krycek, slight mention of Mulder/Scully 

Rating: R for mild sexual discussion. 

Disclaimer: Not mine. Chris Carter owns them. 

Author's Notes: Krycek has two arms in this story. Lyrics used without permission from Jann Arden's "Wishing that" 

Alex waited by the side door of the building, shrouded in the darkness of the alleyway. He leaned back against the rough brick and shoved his hands further into his pockets. The chill in the air spoke of a winter that was not far off. He propped a knee up and tried not to think about why he was here. Why he was standing outside on another sleepless night. Why he was standing and waiting for her to leave so that his time would come. Alex knew the answers to all the whys and yet he found himself here again. He breathed slowly and evenly, watching the wind carry scattered garbage through the alley. Finally after what seemed like hours, he heard the familiar clack of her heels on the pavement. His eyes followed her across the street as she got into her car and drove off. He waited for another twenty minutes to ensure that there would be no interruptions. Then, pushing himself off the wall, he let himself into the building. 

He made his way up the stairs silently, letting his memory direct him. Alex could have found his way to this apartment blindfolded. He relied heavily on his memory, and found that anything to do with Mulder usually stayed fresh in his mind. He stood outside the door and held his hand up mid air. He wavered over whether or not to knock, finally letting his hand fall down in an arc. He tried again, this time connecting his fist to the heavy wood door. Alex knocked once, rapidly. He waited for a moment and was about to raise his hand again when it swung open. Mulder stood there with a silent question on his face. Alex nodded and stepped inside the apartment. He turned to face him as Mulder closed the door. Mulder stood with his back to the door, arms folded over his chest with an impassive look on his face. Alex waited, longing for and dreading the words that were on their way. 

"She left a little while ago, so we have the night." He said crisply. 

Alex nodded slowly. He wondered why Mulder bothered with this routine. Every few weeks it was the same. He would receive a quick call telling him to come over. He would wait downstairs until she would leave then return to Mulder, like a wayward pet to be taken in and retrained. 

"Go into the bedroom. Strip and kneel on the floor." He sounded almost bored. 

Again, he nodded, and then walked to the seldom used bedroom. His stomach was flipping over and rolling about as he removed his jacket. He folded it neatly onto the bed. He toed off his boots and slipped his socks with them. Alex felt a nervous sweat start to grow on his forehead as he pulled his shirt up over his head and undid his jeans. Finally naked, he knelt on the cold wooden floor and awaited Mulder's word. 

Mulder walked into the room and pulled his t-shirt off. Clad only in his jeans, he circled around Alex, watching him with thoughtful eyes. Alex felt even more naked. He shivered and tried to withdraw in himself. Mulder's eyes narrowed as he seemed to survey what Alex was doing. 

When I held you, you would almost always hold me down You could see through everything  
I said I was falling and you said not fall on you I've bitten every finger till it bleed 

Alex felt as if Mulder could see right through him. That he could see right into his core. He felt vulnerable and exposed. Mulder let his hand drop to trail across Alex's shoulders. He lightly followed the plains of his back with his fingertips. Alex shuddered and leaned into the touch, seeking comfort. Mulder let him rest his face on his palm for a few moments, and then pulled his hand away. 

"Why are you here? Why do you keep coming back to me?" he asked. 

"Because you let me," came the rough whisper. 

Alex hung his head. He felt his sorrow and desire war with each other. His need to be with Mulder and his fear of what would happen should Mulder decide that he no longer wanted Alex or his midnight arrivals. He longed for more than just a few hours of pleasure stolen in the darkest of nights, when no one else was watching. More than anything he wished for Mulder's love. 

Wishing that you loved me too  
Wishing that you loved me too, wishing that When I kissed you, you would almost always kiss me back But I could tell your mind was with someone else 

When Alex and Mulder's lips met, Alex felt alive. He felt full and happy and then after, the light would dim and he would feel that gnawing hunger once again. His need to be touched, to be given life was so intense that nothing could stop him for coming back here time after time. His pride was shattered every time he came and allowed Fox to use him however he wished. He was all too aware that a certain red head was the true love of Mulder's life. Alex allowed himself these brief moments where he could pretend that Mulder was his. 

So my hands are folded neatly on my lap And I am picturing your body as I ask myself If you love me too. 

Alex longed to know the truth behind Mulder's reasons. He knew that Fox saw it as a means of satisfying the hunger that Scully could not fulfill within him. He knew he was a convenient outlet for all of Fox's frustrations, hopes, anger and arousal. Always the anger and arousal entwined. Alex could not have Mulder's arousal without also having his rage. His insides twisted as he struggled to keep himself steady. He blinked away the tears that burned at the back of his eyes. 

"I could do anything I want to you." Mulder said. "I know." 

"Would you accept anything I gave you?" Mulder whispered. 

"Always. I would never say no." Alex sighed. 

That much was true. No matter what Mulder needed, Alex felt himself unable to say no. He would come here night after night or only every other month so long as it was what Fox wanted. The need and the desire to be wanted by him were so strong that Alex could easily forget all the reasons why he shouldn't be here. He couldn't stop the one silent tear that escaped from his left eye. It trailed down his cheek slowly. He let his head fall again. 

Wishing that you loved me too  
Wishing that  
Listen to my nervous laughter sunken deep inside my heart My lips are dry; I'm teary eyed for you my love. 

Mulder lifted Alex's head and studied the tear that had run down his cheek. He leaned down and pressed his lips so gently to Alex's parted lips. Alex gasped softly and closed his eyes. He leaned further towards Mulder as the kiss continued. Alex could feel the heat, the spark of life come back into him as the kiss depended. 

Harkin all you falling angels, help me find a place to rest My head is pounding here beneath the weight of this, oh I'm wishing that And you know me, oh you know me more than anyone. 

Alex's head spun with the dizzying emotions as he and Fox parted. He felt the loss immediately. He hung on to Mulder and rode the wave of feeling that was sweeping him along. Their lips met again and both men began to make soft keening noises. Their need was growing faster and more urgently. Mulder laid Alex back on the floor and covered his body with his own. 

When I hear your voice, everything I've done disappears from memory Oh my darling come and save me,  
Tell me I'm the one you're dreaming of. 

Some time later, Alex awoke. Sticky, sore and completely worn out. He heard then saw Mulder dressing for work. He licked his lips wondering how he ended up in bed last night. He had faint memories of Mulder pulling him into the bed. He watched Mulder knot his tie perfectly. Mulder turned and glanced at him. He had a faintly surprised look on his face, almost as if he didn't expect to actually find me still lying in bed. 

"You can take a shower if you want, just leave the place that way it is." Mulder said as he pulled his shoes on. I nodded dumbly. 

"I'll give you a call some time later in the week." I smiled and whispered an okay. Soon after he left for the day, I lied on the bed remembering. And still wishing. Wishing that someday he would be mine.   
  

If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to SpookyStarbuck


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